Kami's Smile

I know one of the thing's I will miss the most is Kami's smile.  She had a beautiful smile that we paid several thousand dollars for! When she smiled her eyes would light up and she would make other's smile.  At Kami's memorial service, people wrote down on pieces of paper favorite memories about Kami.  So many of them said she was so full of life and energy.  One said "your smile made me smile".  Another said" She always came over exuding fun, joy and friendliness.  She was so willing to love all those around her and made everyone feel happy to be hanging out with her.  We loved her in our home".  Many people commented on her working at Staples.  "I often had to go to staples for office supplies and Kami's smiling face and kind words always made me feel appreciated.  We will all miss her".  One comment said "Kami was comfortable with people of all ages.  It impresses me that her mom made room for her in all aspects of her life and gave her opportunities for so many experiences.  I believe that is why she had friends of all ages.  I considered her a friend.  She had such a great smile". 

Kami and Sam at Winter Park

What is hard for me to accept is how she could still smile on the outside and be so full of hurt and anguish on the inside.  How could we have changed the outcome?  As a parent you should be able to fix everything. Why couldn't we fix this. 

Kami and Ollie puppy.  They had a love/hate relationship. Ollie puppy was scared to death of her!

 Kami had a white board in her room and she was constantly changing the quotes on this board.  It was always fun to come into her room and see what pictures she had on drawn on it especially when her friend Sam had been over.  They were pretty creative together. Some appropriate and some no so appropriate if you know what I mean.   Now that Kami is gone, she has left behind a couple of books that were full of her collected quotes.  I will share more of those in a separate blog but I wanted to share a couple that I found that maybe explains why the smiles were on the outside and the hurt she was feeling on the inside.  One particular page had the following: "What do you do if the only one who can make you stop crying, is the one who made you cry"? "Want my advice?  Stay

mad as long as you can cause once you stop, it hurts like hell" "You change for two reasons; either you learn enough that you want to, or you hurt enough that you have to" "It's a lot easier to say ur mad; than to admit ur hurt".  "I build walls to see who cares enough to break them down" "I finally learned what life is about.. hanging on when your hearts had enough... and giving more when you wanna give up".

Kami and her babies

I wish she would have just hung on a little longer and told us that her heart had had enough.  There are so many different quotes she left behind but one that is perfect to end this post is kind of a long one. "Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.  To handle yourself, use your head and to handle others, use your heart.  Anger is only one letter short of danger.  If someone betrays you once, it is his fault, if he betrays you twice, it's your fault.  Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.  He who loses money, loses much but he who loses a friend loses much more, he who loses faith, loses all.  Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, beautiful old people are works of art.  Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.  Friends you and me...you brought another friend...and then there were 3... we started a group, a circle of friends and that circle has no beginning or end.  Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that is why they call it the present"  What I wouldn't give to have another today with Kami.  I love you Kami!

Kami, Lizzie and Mel at her Utah Open House