May 3, 2021 was a spectacular day in Moab, Utah. It is what you dream of for your children. Ryan married the sweetest girl. We love our Jess Harper. The weekend was beautiful and the weather couldn't have cooperated more if we had paid for it. Not too hot, not too cold. It was a little windy but didn't last too long. It was a family moment except there was no Kami. She would have been so happy for them. She knew Jess in High School. She was a year behind and actually hung out with her after meeting her through a mutual friend.
Jess made some cute signs that honored Kami and her father who passed away last February. Such a cute, sweet idea. Like our cute, sweet Jess. Ryan's friend, Alex, performed the ceremony and did an awesome job. He mentioned knowing that he was sure both Jess' dad and Kami were there that day. Ryan said he could feel her there with him and that is the most important part.
I wish I could feel her spirit with me. I feel like other people feel her around but I don't get to feel that. It has been a while since I have felt her with me. Maybe she is with me but I am not listening correctly? I miss her with all of my heart and every fiber of my being. I think about her so many times throughout each day. When you carry a child in your belly, they are right next to your heart and you begin to feel that tug at your heart from the very beginning. When you hold that child for the first time, they have your heart in the palm of their hand. They hold onto it for the rest of their lives. Each time you see them hurt, you hurt. When they are happy, you are happy for them. You feel their pains, their successes, their hurt, their happiness. You are forever connected.
Ryan and I danced at his wedding to "The Lime Tree" by Trevor Hall. We played that song at Kami's funeral. She loved Trevor Hall as I have stated in previous posts. He cried, I cried. Maybe I felt her with us. It was a special moment. I think I may have felt her then.
I think maybe I am waiting for her to appear in a dream or some big miraculous moment. I had a couple of miracles when she first passed away. Maybe I am just being greedy. I need to appreciate the small reminders and take some quiet time to feel her spirit. We continue on with our lives and enjoy the moments but we will always be missing someone at every family function. I have faith that Kami is with our family. I really hope that she is enjoying these moments through that thin veil that we cannot see. I was so glad I could share this special time with my kids and grandkids and my mom and also and the rest of the family that came. (I love all of the Clegg's). April made the most adorable wedding cake. I can't believe how talented she is. Dan's family was so helpful and I am so proud of the grandkids and how much they helped. Family is what it is all about. I love being a mom and grandma. I would not trade it for the world. Grateful for these moments to spend together. When you leave this earth, all you can take with you are the memories. Thanks for the memories.
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