I feel your pain

Monday night I got a text from a friend, she told me her brother had taken his life the day before.  We then talked on the phone.  She could barely talk, she was crying so hard. I listened and told her I was sorry.  Didn't try to fix anything and tell her that it would get better, I just listened.    Been there, done that...  My heart ached for her and her family.  I thought about it all night long and had a hard time going to sleep that night.  Each time I hear about a suicide, it is like ripping off the band aid.  It brings everything back to the surface. The emotions are fresh.  I truly do feel their pain. 

I am grateful that people can reach out to me though.  It is very important to me to support others.  Even though it hurts and brings back memories, I want to be there for those who have lost loved ones.  I want them to know that life will go on and you will learn to live a different way without them.  I went to the funeral for her brother today.  I didn't know him other than things she has told me over the years about her family.  Pictures were everywhere of him.  He had a great smile, loved the Broncos, loved the outdoors, and loved his family.  I felt like I had known him by the end of the service.  After it was over, I went up to my friend and gave her a hug.  She clung to me like I was the last lifesaver on the Titanic.  I clung back.  The unspoken words flew between us.  I cried with her. 

I got home from the funeral and I had some things to do for the walk that I am co-chairing this year.  This is my life now.  To be involved and help others.  It is a world I would rather not be a part of, but I am.  I need to embrace this challenge and help others.  I feel the pain of others, deep down in my bones.  If I can make one person have a better day, that is my goal.  One day at a time.  That is how I roll now.