Milestones

I can't wait until she smiles, until she rolls over, until she sleeps through the night, until she sits up, until she walks, until she can go to the nursery at church, until she is potty trained, you get my drift.  There were so many milestones that we were excited about as parents.  Anyone that is a parent knows what I am talking about.  When you have a baby, you hold that baby and treasure every moment.  You wrap that baby in a towel after a bath and you bring them to your nose and you inhale the baby smell.  You live for each milestone that they pass.  I remember when Kami started kindergarten and thought how much my life was changing then.  I was telling someone the other day how hard it was when the kid's got their driver's license because I could no longer drive them to soccer practice.  I always learned so much when I was driving them to soccer, especially when they had their friends in the car and don't even get me started when they would open their soccer bags and pull out their socks.  You know the ones that you had asked them to put in the laundry several times.  The car would smell so bad, you had to roll down every window.  I was telling this same person what a mixed blessing it is when they get their license because I missed the drives to soccer practice but I was grateful they could drive to the games because they had to be their an hour early and I could just show up at game time.  I looked forward to the day that Kami would get married and we would go shopping for dresses together and do the whole wedding thing.  Instead, she ran off and got married at the court house and we never got to do that milestone....
The reason I bring this up is because I was talking to another mother who lost a child two weeks after we lost Kami.  I told her we had just passed the 6 month mark and she told me theirs was coming up. We talked about all of these "firsts" that we are going through.  These are not the milestones we hoped for when they were little.  These are not the "firsts" that we want to face.  These are not the milestones that we want to be a part of.  We talked about being part of a club that we never intended to sign up for.  I know if I could have it all to do over again, I would have enjoyed those milestones I had hoped for a lot more.  I would have inhaled that baby smell and captured it into my memory so much stronger. 
Enjoy your milestones, especially the ones you wish for....