Monday night I got a text from a friend, she told me her brother had taken his life the day before. We then talked on the phone. She could barely talk, she was crying so hard. I listened and told her I was sorry. Didn't try to fix anything and tell her that it would get better, I just listened. Been there, done that... My heart ached for her and her family. I thought about it all night long and had a hard time going to sleep that night. Each time I hear about a suicide, it is like ripping off the band aid. It brings everything back to the surface. The emotions are fresh. I truly do feel their pain.
I am grateful that people can reach out to me though. It is very important to me to support others. Even though it hurts and brings back memories, I want to be there for those who have lost loved ones. I want them to know that life will go on and you will learn to live a different way without them. I went to the funeral for her brother today. I didn't know him other than things she has told me over the years about her family. Pictures were everywhere of him. He had a great smile, loved the Broncos, loved the outdoors, and loved his family. I felt like I had known him by the end of the service. After it was over, I went up to my friend and gave her a hug. She clung to me like I was the last lifesaver on the Titanic. I clung back. The unspoken words flew between us. I cried with her.
I got home from the funeral and I had some things to do for the walk that I am co-chairing this year. This is my life now. To be involved and help others. It is a world I would rather not be a part of, but I am. I need to embrace this challenge and help others. I feel the pain of others, deep down in my bones. If I can make one person have a better day, that is my goal. One day at a time. That is how I roll now.
