September 23, 2017 was the annual Out of the Darkness community walk at Coors Field. I am not sure why, but driving to the event this year, I started to cry. I was so emotional. Wishing that Kami was sitting by me and we were going to support others. I really didn't want to have to go there for the reason I was going. I was emotional the whole time. Seeing my son walk in, I gave him a big hug and told him how I was feeling. When I saw Kami's best friend. I hugged her and cried also. Going by the memory area, which is always a tough area anyway, I cried again. I kept praying that I would feel Kami's spirit with me that day. I never did. My aunt said that pictures kept popping up on her computer of Kami that day, and she sent a couple over to me. I guess I had to feel her spirit through others that day. A lady I served on the committee with me had a butterfly land on her and it stayed with her the whole walk. There was a hawk that kept circling around the jumbotron before the walk began also. Everyone wants to see a sign of their loved one at these walks. Everyone wants to feel some peace. They want to know that there loved one is safe and at peace.
The walk brings up all sorts of emotions but mostly it is there so you don't feel alone. You are there to remember your loved ones. You are encouraged to earn money for AFSP and it goes to a good cause but the walk is really for support. You lending your support to others and receiving that support back. Everyone has a story. They are all heart wrenching. The need is there and I am glad that I can be a part of that support. Be the Voice. Help stop suicide.
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