Kami

Kami

I love to say her name.  I take all the chances that I get to say her name.  I don't want anyone to forget that she was here on this earth and she touched many lives.  Some in good ways, some in not so good ways.  Mostly good though.  
Her smile...people comment most about how she always had a smile on her face when they saw her.  She was a precocious little girl.  From the very beginning, she knew what she wanted and could be so headstrong.  She was very talented.  I loved that one day she came home from work at Staples (she was about 20 years old, mind you) and was so excited because she got an award for being employee of the week or something and she got a carousel of crayons.  She loved to color.  She was so proud of new crayons.    Then not too long after that she left them in her car on a hot summer day and ....well.....I think you know where this story went.  She was really bummed.
  
She also loved her sharpies.  She got a large package of all colors of sharpies.  After she died, I found them in some of the things that Jeff actually returned to us.  It was a small piece of Kami that I could keep and use.  Not too long ago, I thought I had lost them and I was so sad.  I found them in a tote that I keep fun things to do with my grandkids in.  When I found them, I thought to myself, I hope these will last  forever.  It is something that I can touch, that Kami touched.  You don't realize how precious things are until they are gone.  I wish that I had more pictures of her, more things that she wrote or left behind, more tangible memories.  
Make sure to make the most of every moment.  Because you never know when those moments will just be a memory.

This morning at work I was there all alone and it was very quiet.  The song Let Her Go came on.  It gave me time to reflect on how much I love her and miss her every day.  I think I have shared these words before but I feel the need to do it again.  This song is by Passenger.  I knew I loved her before I had to let her go.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know…